The Blueprint to Your Next Successful Business Partnership

I work hard on the relationships that matter to me - in both my personal and professional lives.

One of the most impactful books that has colored my opinion on this is “Making Marriage Work” by Dr. John Gottman.

He conducted extensive research on what makes marriages work.

He eventually got to the point where he could watch a newlywed couple for 2 hours in his lab, and predict with high accuracy, what their divorce rate would be over the next decade.

Pretty powerful!

He proposes seven principles for a successful marriage.

This got me thinking.

Aren’t good business partnerships a lot like good marriages?

I’ve certainly had my host of business partnerships - good ones, bad ones, frustrating ones, lucrative ones - and when reading Gottman’s work, his predictive criteria lines up almost perfectly to my successes and failures with business partners.

What I find most powerful about this exercise is that it deals with business partners as they are - humans!

So, without further adieu, here are Gottman’s points - rewritten and applied to business partnerships.

As you read - challenge yourself (as I do) and ask “Can I cultivate these habits in my business partnerships”?

I don’t always do well following these rules (in business, or my marriage) - but I certainly aspire to!

1. Deepen Your Business Maps: Understand the terrain of your partner's business world like the back of your hand. Know their strengths, weaknesses, past experiences, and future aspirations. To build a sustainable partnership, it's necessary to understand and appreciate your partner's skills, perspectives, and contributions to the journey.

2. Foster Mutual Respect and Appreciation: It's easy to fall into the trap of taking your partner for granted or becoming blind to their contribution. Counteract this by actively recognizing, appreciating, and expressing gratitude for their skills, efforts, and successes. Regular appreciation can create a positive atmosphere that invigorates and sustains the partnership.

3. Lean Into Each Other, Not Away: In a busy business environment, partners continuously send out 'bids'—requests for attention, support, or decision-making. Answer these bids by leaning in, not retreating. Whether it's a minor administrative task or a significant strategic decision, responding quickly and positively builds up trust and reliability, the backbone of a solid partnership.

4. Welcome Your Partner's Influence: Don't let ego hinder your partnership. Accepting and valuing your partner's input and allowing it to guide your actions is a sign of respect. It fosters a balanced partnership where power and influence are shared, creating a fertile ground for good decision making and growth.

5. Tackle Your Tackleable Issues: Problems and disagreements are inevitable in any partnership. Identifying and resolving solvable problems quickly prevents them from escalating. Adopt a solution-focused mindset: start the discussion without blame, deescalate tension, stay calm and composed, seek compromise, and exercise tolerance. The aim isn't to win, but to find a solution that benefits the partnership.

6. Break Free From Gridlocks: Not all issues can be easily resolved. Some disagreements can make you feel stuck and frustrated. Here's where patience and dialogue come in. Understand your partner’s standpoint, dig into the significance of your own positions, and strive to find common ground. It's not about who's right, but what's right for the business.

7. Forge a Shared Purpose: Great partnerships are built on shared visions. Develop a narrative that intertwines your collective aspirations and dreams. Creating rituals, shared goals, and common metaphors can instill a sense of unity and belonging. The shared story you create not only strengthens your bond but also guides your venture to bigger heights.

If I don’t have the time, desire, or focus to follow these rules - the business relationship belongs in a different category!

Investor, Employer, Vendor - whatever.

But I consider “Partner” a big deal!

Yallah Habibi!

Jon

P.S. No calls this week - finishing up our European adventure.

Here are the 33 observations I made:

Passage of the Week: